A few weeks, even months prior to the wedding, you will probably be waking up in the night wondering how you are going to handle it. Your ‘big day’ has to be really special. The problem is, you need help with it and calling on a few people often leaves others upset. You need a solid plan that helps you choose the right bridesmaids, without making your other friends feeling left out. Since you are up anyway, you could start writing things down.
Make lists – a lot of them
The first list is the hardest to make. This is the list of all the friends you can think of. Along with each person’s name, write a short description of them. Based on these spontaneous summaries, make another list of those who seem apt for the role of a bridesmaid. In this list, there will be a few people you are absolutely sure of, and some you are still considering. Do not take too much time to create the lists. The first few names that come to your mind are often the people who you are going to finalize on as bridesmaids.
Don’t forget to ask
Sometimes you may be keen on having someone as your bridesmaid, or even as the maid of honour. However, if you do not ask, you will never know if they really want to do it or not. Close friends will be upfront and tell you whether they wish to take up such a responsibility or not. Have a backup plan, and make sure you do not take the rejection personally. Nobody gives away such an honour without having a good cause. A backup also helps in case of an emergency where someone just cannot make it to the big day.
Choosing between friends and family
Making a choice between your best friend and your sister is probably the hardest one. Are you going to spoil family ties by picking your bestie? You could consider choosing a toddler; a niece perhaps, and make them your maid of honour. Meanwhile, you could split the actual roles between your friend and sister. Be open about your decision and explain how you did not have the heart to choose between two people who are close to you. They will both be pleased to know that they are so important to you.
Only quite a few people will try to to think rationally but it may not be as easy as they make it sound. Keep in mind that it is a day of celebration. So think with your heart. Being with people you like is more important than being with those who can take quick decisions. Do not bring in your nagging aunt who you absolutely abhor, just because she can make calm decisions in chaotic surroundings. Have as much fun as you can. The more you worry, the more you lose out on. If you really need to be calmed, talk to your parents, or someone you have known for a long time. They have always known how to say exactly what you need to hear.